Last modified: 2019-05-15 by rob raeside
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All "British Arctic Territory" flags are hoaxes, developed by Clay Moss et al. on April Fools' Days
See also:
As Governor General, and by the authority invested in my office, I hereby
declare today, 1 April, 2016 the birth date of BATAVIA, The British Arctic
Territory Association of Vexillology In Alert.
Ok....now that we have a
vexillological association, we need members and a flag. It's free to join, so if
you write and let me know that you're in, then you're in.
Now we need a
flag. BATAVIA will be fielding suggestions for a BATAVIA flag. you can mail
those to me at cmoss60@...
The Office of Vexillology will pick a winner,
and we will announce it on 1 April, 2017......unless there is an outcry for it
to happen sooner.
Come to think of it, the OV needs a flag as well.
Clay Moss, 1 April 2016
Congratulations to all the citizens of BAT upon the establishment of BATAVIA.
I shall now attempt to raise the Territory's standard further by coming up with
a possible design for BATAVIA's flag. Will you be considering applying for
membership of FIAV ?
I should also like to be considered for membership
and as a volunteer of BATAVIA. Did you know that "Batavia" has historical
connections to the early European discovery of Terra Australis ?
Ralph Bartlett, 1 April 2016
Happy BAT Day! It has been a slow year in the good ol’ British Arctic
Territory. Not much new to report.
Following the BAT’s accidental
purchase of Australia, 5 years ago today, and the Australian Reindependence Day
celebrated coincidentally on January 26/27, this year, Alert High School ended
up with not only the original didgeridoo that we ordered in 2014, but we have an
additional 4 more didgeridoos, and the school has started the very first arctic
didgeridoo band.
No one could have known, but if 5 didgeridoos are played
outdoors at the same time, any polar bear within 2 kilometres of the sound will
completely freeze in their tracks, no pun intended, sleep while standing, and
won’t awake or move again for hours. UNLESS they are tipped over, and then the
bears will be jarred awake, get back on their feet, chase their own tails like a
dog, and walk off in a very dizzy like fashion depending on how many rounds each
bear managed while chasing their tails. For the humans involved, it’s a much
more interesting past time and adrenaline rush than traditional cow tipping
practiced in the US. The sled dogs seem to enjoy watching polar bears act like
dogs, albeit briefly. In fact, the sled dogs will occasionally get in on the
tipping.
There is now talk of making polar bear tipping a sport, but the
rules must first be agreed upon, and a determination as to whether or not polar
bear tipping amounts to animal cruelty. Thus far, no polar bears have been
injured.
There was one incident however where 2 fellas attempted to tip a
polar bear, and the polar bear somehow didn’t tip in the direction pushed, but
sort of boomeranged, (an outcome not lost on those playing the “Australian”
didgeridoos), back toward the guys who pushed him, and the bear tipped the
opposite way, landing on the two tippers. Miraculously, as the two guys laid
there, quasi smooshed, and stunned, the polar, did the whole “chase his tail”
routine without ever stepping on either fellow. Quite a fortunate outcome, I
would say.
BAT Day would not be the tradition it is without the addition
of at least 1 new flag. Last year, we reported on VABAT’s new flag, along with
the BAT Mountain Climbing Club. We caught the intern responsible. She escaped
and was in Canada, just coincidentally climbing Mount Whistler in order to hide
out from her dastardly crime of introducing a BAT flag of an organization that
did not exist. Anyway, we were so impressed with her climbing skills, that we
made her the the head of the BATMCC. So now, her flag is legitimized.
Meanwhile, several people noticed that we had not mentioned “BATAVIA” last year
when talking about BAT vexillological organization flags. It’s too long a story,
and not particularly interesting, but the BAT has quietly had 2 vexillological
organization the last couple of years. Because the grand total of 5 members
between the two clubs could not agree on several bylaws that should unite the
two organizations, and they couldn’t agree on a flag.
So, a compromise
was reached, and VABAT, and BATAVIA, are united now into BATAVIA, the BAT
Association of Vexillologists in Alert, because, BATAVIA just sounds cooler.
Along with VABAT’s flag introduced last year, this new design will also
serve BATAVIA. VABAT’s old flag will fly in the arctic Spring and Summer, with
the light blue triangle representing the sky blue day time arctic sky, that
never quite goes away. The new flag introduced today, will represent BATAVIA
during the arctic Autumn and Winter, with the dark blue triangle representing
the very dark blue night time arctic sky, that never quite goes away.
So,
Miss intern from last year got her way after all!
There is probably a more modern explanation to this finding. On the "hush
hush" side of BAT life, there is a little known treaty between Canada and the
BAT, the Canadian Arctic Treaty with the BAT, or CATBAT that permits either side
to cross borders as it were in order to pursue certain criminals.
BAT law
enforcement officials have been conducting covert operations on Baffin Island,
as that's where arctic aardvark poachers hide out. BAT Wild Life Service
personnel, (all 2 of them), will occasionally assist law enforcement, as the
BATWS has/had a boat, the BATWS Aartie, named for the first arctic aardvark ever
discovered.
Anyway, several years ago now, the Aartie, patrolling on
Netilling Lake, spotted a group of poachers. The boat proceeded to shore, where
the two BATWS gentlemen disembarked and pursued the poachers. Said poachers
doubled back toward shore, stole the Aartie, and sped away, never to be seen
again.
Embarrassed, the 2 BATWS guys, no worse for wear, radioed their
position and were rescued by the BAAF a couple of hours later. Some local Inuit
folk later claimed that they saw a "strange boat" sporting an aardvark pennant
slam head long into a piece of floating ice in the lake, and go down "like a
rock".
I suspect that it is Aartie and what's left of the poachers. A
second investigation will verify one way or the other.
The aardvark
pennant is a bit of a mystery, as there is no "official" record of there being a
BATWS aardvark pennant. However, it could be a pennant fashioned for the Aartie
and used as a unit pennant of sorts, which traditionally would not require
approval, provided it was tasteful. Having never eaten a pennant myself, I could
not say for sure.
Oh yeah....aardvark poaching all but disappeared after
the "Aartie disappearance", as the incident is called in the BAT.
Clay Moss, 1 April 2019